You’re a busy single. You have a job, friends, family, and a social life. You’re pretty content, except for one thing. The men you meet and date are just okay, and none of them sweeps you off your feet. You are looking for that one person who lights you up.
The problem? You are fishing in the same pond, and all the fish are pretty much the same.
It’s time to do things differently, and here are ___ tips to do just that and boost your chances of meeting someone who sets your heart aflame. Time’s a wastin’, so let’s get started.
Table of Contents
Tip One: Get Your Fishing Gear Together
This may not sound too romantic, but being prepared to catch the big one requires some type of a plan. That plan means you take some time to think about the “must haves” for your perfect “fish.” Focus on the big, general “requireds” and leave out the details. They only limit you. Here are a few examples:
- He must be financially independent
- He must be over the “gamesmanship” that is typical of adolescents
- He must be willing to talk about goals and values
Note: this list doesn’t include details about “looks” – when you snag Mr. Right, looks will be secondary.
Tip Two: Get Out into New Ponds or Lakes
That fish is not going to be on the surface looking for your hook and bait. In fact, he doesn’t even know you exist right now. So, get as much “maximum exposure” as possible.
You just do not know where he might be, so you need to be out and visible where men are. Leave your small pond and explore new and bigger ones.
Tip Three: Find a Diversity of Ponds and Lakes
This relates to number two, but let’s get into some detail here.
Where exactly are you fishing? There may be some activities that you have never considered but that provide opportunities to meet new and different men. Here are a few:
- Consider speed dating. If you don’t know what it is, check this link. In short, you attend an event with other singles, and you rotate from table to table, having a “mini” date that lasts about 5 minutes with each man.
- Register for seminars, conferences, and conventions of interest that will have a large male audience to mingle with during breaks and social hours.
- Consider joining an online dating service or two. Most have geolocation features so you can meet single men near you in a safe and fun environment. The big plus? You get to chat with an unlimited number of men, getting to know them before you ever take the next step of an in-person date.
The point is this: you never know where Mr. Right may be hanging out, so you hang out where he may be.
Tip Four: Lose Your Prejudices
Remember that list you made? Time to put it to actual use. If you’ve never tried grouper because you have always liked just shrimp, you are limiting yourself beyond measure. That list you made stuck to the general without details.
Don’t let your biases about “type” control who you might find but have chosen to ignore. It’s like throwing that grouper back into the ocean and keeping only the shrimp in your net.
Tip Five: Mix Up Your Fishing Environments
Again, even if you go to a different pond or lake, but you only stay at that one, you miss out on a lot of opportunities.
If you only go out with the same group of girlfriends all the time, you’re still only in one environment. How about hanging out with some female co-workers? How about taking a gourmet cooking or a painting course, make some new girlfriends, and hang out in their environments? Remember, be as visible in as many different places as possible.
Tip Six: You’ve Found the Perfect Fish – Now, No Game Playing
Remember that list? You probably had something on it about him being over all of that adolescent crap. So practice what you preach. You must be who you really are.
If you try to be someone else because you feel the need to impress, you make a big mistake. The real you will come out eventually, in your actions, not your words. And your “act” just can’t last forever.
These Six…
Finding that perfect fish is an imperfect process. But if you start with these six tips, it may be an easier process. Give them a go – you have nothing to lose and they just might work perfectly.
